Formal Introductory Letter
Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Chee Han Kok and I am writing to formally introduce myself to you. Coming from the studies of
Electrical Engineering at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Veering off from the electrical engineering route has caused some doubts around. However, my interest in the engineering
sector started when I started commuting daily on the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT)/
Bus. The noteworthy point was how public transport in Singapore made lives
better for the general public. This in turn led me to wonder what other
ideations/innovations can make the world a better place. I find myself
corralled in said thoughts in many instances on how I, a fellow Singaporean,
can help improve the quality of life in Singapore. Thus began my escalating
interest in the engineering sector. I truly believe that every engineering sector has the potential to improve lives, thus my unorthodox route to achieve what I set out for at the start.
One
notable communication strength I have is being open-minded. People from all
walks of life behave/express themselves differently. My open-mindedness has allowed me to
converse well with most group members when it comes to the inevitable group
projects in school. Being able to take in their constructive opinion from a
different standpoint.
The communication weakness I have is the failure to cope
with nonverbal cues. Being very insensitive to body language or facial
expressions labeled me as a presumptuous person. I speak out my perspective on
matters blatantly. This behavior has caused previous group members to distance
themselves from me as they find me hard to work with.
The two
takeaways I wish to accomplish at the end of this module are refining my formal
presentation skills and improve on my writing/grammar.
The key feature that differentiates me from others is that I work extremely hard on my interest and strive to be the best at them. Hoping to turn my personal interest into a talent
Yours Sincerely,
Chee Han Kok.
wow good job!
ReplyDeletevery insightful Chee Han!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteDear Han Kok,
Thanks for posting this letter. You seem to address the required points from the assignment brief. You mention the genesis of your interest in engineering and you openly share on your comm skills attributes. However, I have a question related to one statement from the opening paragraph: ...my unorthodox route to achieve what I set out for at the start.
What was so unorthodox about your route?
Another statement that is unclear is this from the comm skills weakness: Being very insensitive to body language or facial expressions labeled me as a presumptuous person.
Who labeled you as such?
You also mention working hard on interests but you don't mention any aside from some thoughts on public transport. That gives a superficial feeling to the idea.
In terms of language isues, there are several clear sentence structure errors:
-- Coming from the studies of Electrical Engineering at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. > (fragment) ?
-- Being able to take in their constructive opinion from a different standpoint. > (fragment) ?
-- Hoping to turn my personal interest into a talent > (punctuation issue and fragment) ?
Let's work on this, Han Kok, in a second draft.
I look forward to learning more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi Prof! Thank you for your insightful inputs. Grammatical errors has always been my disadvantageous point. I hope to improve the English language as the course takes place under your guidance.
Delete-Han Kok
Hi Han Kok! It is heartwarming to know that through commuting daily via public transport, it inspired you to want to improve the quality of life in Singapore. I believe that through this module, your grammar and writing will improve gradually. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Denzil! It is an honour to get great feedback to further improve my current English language. Let’s work on our weaknesses and improve at the end of the course.
Delete-Han Kok